ONE MORE BULLET WON'T KILL YOU  |  ACTION FILM BLOG

 

Schwarzenegger’s New Project

April 5, 2011

Arnold on his new cartoon

Uhh…alright this already has a stupid title of “The Governator” but let’s give it an honest look and see what this is. How does one follow Collateral Damage? Let’s watch and see.

Arnold Schwarzenegger Cartoon
Right. I’m totally fine with this being an animated kids show.
Just don’t make references to things kids don’t care abou…

Larry King Cartoon
Larry King? Did we enter the school of Red for retired old people?
Or do kids sneak out of bed to watch him late at night?

Governator Laser Pew Pew
Well…uhh….wha? I’m getting some serious Captain Planet vibes here.

Governator Matrix Parody
And I’m done here. If Matrix parodies didn’t get overdone by 2001, than how about doing them with Arnold while the Black Eyed Peas are playing?

I’m long grown out of watching shows intended for kids and I have no children of my own to watch this with. Even if I did, there’s better entertainment for them. I’d ignore this if it didn’t think it would last, but even Jackie Chan’s cartoon show lasted a whopping 5 seasons.

Jackie Chan Adventures

I wasn’t young enough to watch this either! But even the more mediocre films in Jackie’s filmography are far more entertaining for kids than this is! Stick with films and singing the theme songs to your films Jackie!

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Three Theatrical Hong Kong Films in 2011

March 18, 2011

Three Hong Kong action films are receiving a theatrical distribution in North America this year. I’m surprised they are pushing these titles over some others (cough cough Reign of Assassins) but I suppose someone thinks these have some potential to make a buck. The films in question are The Butcher, the Chef, and the Swordsmen, Legend of the Fist: The Return of Chen Zhen, and Yuen Woo-Ping’s True Legend. First let’s look at Legend of the Fist.

I’m sold! I hope it attracts some attention outside the already converted Hong Kong fan base. I’m giving brownie points to oddly named distributor (Well Go USA) for promoting the film as uncut and undubbed as well. They aren’t pulling a Weinstein or Miramax on us.

This lack of cuts could hurt the film’s reception however as if it’s anything like the other Chen Zhen films, then it will come off as insanely nationalistic. The xenophobic nature towards the Japanese in these films can only leave a bad taste in my mouth considering. These goes double considering the tsunami and power plant disasters in Japan. I’ll see how much I can stomach in this one. The trailer promotes itself as being from the director of Infernal Affairs but I think it should also mention the Andrew Lau’s other credentials.

Legend of the Fist Trailer Andrew Lau

Way more accurate. Politics aside, I’m still a sucker for how the whole thing looks. Having Donnie Yen and Anthony Wong doing their thing doesn’t hurt either. I’ll be paying top dollar for it when/if it swings into my town. Next is The Butcher, the Chef, and the Swordsmen which is coming out tomorrow! It hasn’t even been released in Hong Kong yet!

There’s not a lot of hype about this movie. It’s an anthology film partially funded by Fox making it a Chinese-Hong-Kong-US production. If three production countries aren’t enough for you, it has five screenwriters! Multiple-writers syndrome usually ruins a film for me, as it often becomes a pretzel-based plot that’s unsure of it’s own direction and tone. The only multi-writer exceptions I can think of are Children of Men and 48 Hrs. which make it through several writers without a scratch of confusion.

I’m baffled by the poster’s statement on Doug Liman presenting this film. I had to look him up as I was drawing blanks on why his name would mean anything on the poster would mean anything to anyone. Turns out he made Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Jumper and that Bourne film that wasn’t made by Paul Greengrass.

The

I guess he had his hand in the release of this? Liman has little to no following and it’s almost as jarring as reading critical acclaim from Brett Rhatner on my Jackie Chan DVDs. Let’s hope the gamble pays to release this pays off. Film Business Asia gave the film a good review, but also seemed to praise something described as “a whorehouse rap number”. Hmm. Unless this comes to a theater near me, I’ll pass.

Lastly, we have True Legend. It does not have an American trailer yet, but it’s got Yuen Woo-Ping directing and features Michelle Yeoh. Woo-Ping hasn’t directed a film since 1996 as he’s been busy making everyone else look good in The Matrix, Kill Bill, and Kung Fu Hustle. Why the huge break? I guess doing action scenes for top directors pays more than doing you own films but you’d think he’d get the directing bug again sooner. Speaking of AWOL directors, what’s been keeping Ringo Lam busy these days? Did Ringo give up everything after overdosing on Van Damme or was working on Triangle with Johnnie To and Tsui Hark the only work he could get?

Either way, it’ll be great to see something that says “Directed by Yuen Woo-Ping” on the screen again, so I’m ready for it. Let’s see how it’s being promoted. There’s tons of angles to approach this at, so what have you got for me poster?

True Legend American Poster Yuen Woo Ping

Aw, c’mon. What a weak teaser. This is typical “no faith in the film” poster making where the production company even hides the fact that it’s an Asian film. They could at least boast something about his American work but here there is nothing! Instead, we have a fist which is…leaking on a wall? I’m lost. That’s clearly black ink splashed around it but the fist is cracking the wall. Lamest graffiti inspired poster ever! Let’s hope that when it’s get closer to it’s premiere we’ll have something nicer to look at.

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Karate-Robo Zaborgar Trailer

February 27, 2011

Noboru Iguchi’s one-film-a-year streak has no end! Fresh off of partially directing Mutant Girls Squad, he’s already got a film out in 2011 titled Karate-Robo Zaborgar (catchy!) which was shown at the Rotterdam Film Festival in January. From the trailer, it almost seems like he’s matured. The robot-motorcycle seen in the trailer is nearly at the levels of outrageous as I know him for. But after watching amazing clips from the original 1970s show it’s based off of, I now see where Iguchi gets a good slab of is bizarre ideas form. And it’s far more awe-inspiring than this minimal trailer could ever be!

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